


New beginnings.

by EricaWhynterSutherland



Series: We three super soldiers. [1]
Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drug Use, F/M, Flashbacks, Howard Stark isn't that bad, Kinda fluff, Lost Love, M/M, Nick Fury fucks up, Reliving the Past, Reunion Sex, Slash, Three super soldiers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 06:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2015346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EricaWhynterSutherland/pseuds/EricaWhynterSutherland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trouble in Central Park leads to Steve and Bucky meeting someone they never thought to see again. Lieutenant Ruth Turner, the original super soldier, returns from war to find her long lost friend and lover to be alive after loosing them in World War II. Follow their story as they all adjust to their new lives, learning about Ruth's adventures and hardships after loosing Bucky and Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In thunder, lightening, or in rain.

Thursday 24th september 2015- 9am Tony woke up pretty much the same as every day, wrapped up in the strong arms of Captain America as the New York sun filtered its way through the Stark Tower Penthouse, he snuggled closer to Steve content to just stay there all day; until there was a knock at the door and Natasha stormed in, throwing Steve’s uniform at him.

“Come on you two, trouble in Central Park.” She said briskly.

"How the fuck did you bypass security, Nat?" Tony complained. 

"I have my ways, Stark" She said ominously before turning to leave and slamming the door to ensure they were awake. Steve was immediately awake and sat up, knocking Tony off the bed in the process, scrambling to put on his uniform. He stopped when he heard a thump and Tony’s small hiss of pain.

“Tony, you ok? I’m Sorry!” Steve hastily apologised and moved around to help his boyfriend off the floor. Tony smiled and nodded, kissing Steve chastely before opening the glass door that lead to the balcony to summon his suit. 

“I’m okay, baby, hurry up and get ready.” Tony’s voice was still groggy with sleep but he managed to get in his suit just before Steve finished putting on his own. “Shall we?” Tony inquired gesturing to the open door. When Steve nodded they embraced and Tony flew them directly to The Park where Clint, Bucky, Bruce and Natasha had yet to apprehend the cause of the disturbance. Obviously the enemy was putting up a fight if the scorch marks and explosions in the general vicinity were anything to go by.

Tony dropped Steve gently on the ground before flying higher to try and spot the enemy. “Update?” Tony asked to which Natasha replied: “Unknown Enemy, No deaths or injuries suggests no malicious intent.”

“Then why is the park in flames?” Steve nearly shouted.

“This area was due to be replenished anyway. I think this was to get our attention.” Clint Spoke up, a loud burst of Thunder following afterwards as dark storm clouds formed above New York, Thor appeared in a flash of lightning in front of them as rain started to hammer down upon the heroes.

“Well we’re all here now, and they certainly have out undivided attention, where are they?” Tony spoke, still trying to get a visual. Another explosion went off behind them and Nick Fury’s voice alerted them ‘that this enemy was to be engaged and stopped immediately and by any means necessary’. 

All of the avengers look around at each other as yet another explosion went off in front of them which caused them to duck for cover. Steve tackled Bucky behind a tree and Natasha and Clint hid behind a rock leaving The Hulk to roar his displeasure, remaining uncovered; Tony, still in the air, recovered quickly his gaze flicking on the ground to check on his team mates before it fixed upon a shadow moving through the smoke.

“I have a visual!” He spoke hastily as he tried to look closer at the figure. The figure slowly emerged as the rest of the avengers regrouped and prepared for action, Natasha readied her guns and Clint had already trained his arrow on the enemy.

“Stop! They’re surrendering” Tony called to them all in disbelief. The rest of them looked from Tony to the smoke and see that the shadow appeared to have their hands up, although they still seem to have an assault rifle held within one hand. 

From the smoke appeared a woman with long auburn hair and freckled skin with a cocky smirk on the obscenely red lips, wearing military style attire that frankly, made her look bad-ass. Steve and Bucky both froze and ordered the group to stand down immediately when the woman came into full view, and the team all dropped their weapons and looked at the two super soldiers in disbelief as they stumbled they’re way over to the woman as she threw her gun to the ground in order to accept Bucky’s hug. The three muttered to each other, being bombarded with rain from the storm that raged around them and eventually Steve hugged the women too.

Tony looked down at Natasha in confusion before flying forward and landing next to Steve. “Errr, Steve? Bucky? Wanna introduce us to your friend?” He asked light-heartedly. Steve released the women and smiled at Tony and Bucky looped his arm around the Lady’s waist.

“Lieutenant Ruth Turner” The Woman spoke with a strong British accent and a smile, holding out her hand to shake hands with Tony. “I was in the army with Cap’ and James”

“W-what?” Tony spluttered. “Shouldn’t you be like dead? Or super old?” To which Ruth laughed.

“I’m a super soldier, we don’t age…” She replied before kissing Bucky. 

“Whoa, so she’s like, Captain Britain?” Tony looked to Steve, who rolled his eyes.

“She’s a lieutenant” Steve said in a mock-chastising tone.

“Only in the howling commandos, Captain. I was a Captain in the British forces.” Ruth muttered before looking at Tony. “You must be Howard’s son, Hello Anthony”

“Hang on; there was only one super soldier program.” Tony said confused.

“Oh please, you think Howard developed the serum? He may have been a genius but not in genetics. The first super soldier was created in 1939 in the Muir island facility in Scotland at the beginning of the Second World War. My father, Dr George Turner, created the serum and gave it to me as the last resort to save me from Pneumonia and then I was shipped off to fight Hitler and the Nazi’s and later HYDRA. All strictly classified off course.” Ruth supplied. “Your father later developed a similar mix that created Captain America here.” she said patting Steve's arm.

“And you and Buck are?” Tony Asked expectantly.

"Almost as clever as your Father, Anthony, how observant of you! What gave it away?" Ruth said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow and hugging Bucky closer to her side.

Tony bristled at the mention of his father and Steve noticed him tensing. 

"I am nothing like my father" Tony gritted his teeth. 

"oops, seemed to have hit a nerve. Sorry Anthony, I know your father wasn't the best but trust me when I say he used to be a good man. Without him I wouldn't have met Bucky and Steve."

"And I wouldn't be here." Steve whispered huskily into Tony's ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

"Okay, I guess everything is good here?" Natasha spoke up. "Back to the tower for debriefing at 11." she said as she went to leave, the other avengers following excluding Tony, Steve, Bucky and Ruth.

Ruth looked up at the dark storm clouds and laughed. "As Shakespeare once said: When shall we three meet again; in thunder, lightening, or in Rain."

"They said you were dead." Steve said seriously, sadness evident in his voice. Ruth's smile dropped and she looked older and grief stricken.

"They said the same about you two." She said wearily. "I only believed them about you, Steve. For decades I've lived trying to forget you and you just... Turn up in New York." She laughs humourlessly. "I'm guessing they never told you Buck was still alive until he came to kill you." Tears developed in her eyes.

"What?!" Tony, Steve and Bucky all exclaimed in unison, wide eyed.

"Later," She insisted. "Sorry about the mess" she gestured around. "Couldn't get a meeting with Fury for months and you guys are hard to get to."

"You always liked grand entrances." Steve tried to lighten the mood.

"Says the star-spangled Hero in red, white and blue Spandex" She remarked. To which Tony and Bucky laughed.

"I like her!" Tony enthused to Steve.

"You'll regret saying that!" Bucky smirked then yelped as Ruth smacked his arse, before both burst out laughing and kissed passionately, their tongues twisting and fighting for dominance as they kissed like sex starved teens, their kiss bordering on indecent even for two soldiers. They smiled at each other after they broke apart, kissing each other chastely a few times as they tried to stop the kiss. 

"I think we should get back to the Tower. I have a few questions for Fury." Steve said with a slight bitterness before they made their way to the Tower.


	2. The on coming storm

Thursday 24th september 2015 - 11.30am

"Ruth Turner? You have got to be kidding me." Fury exclaimed, near shouting at Natasha. 

"Who is she?" Clint demanded. "Because she seemed pretty friendly with Barnes and Steve"

"She was the first super soldier. Years before Steve. They both served in the howling commandos. I was told it was best to keep the fact she was still alive from Steve and so I told him she was dead." Fury explained.

Natasha raised her eyebrow. "Well it would now seem you are going to have alot of explaining to do. With this and the whole HYDRA drama last year, you're on pretty thin ice with Steve." 

Fury glowered at her with a piercing glare from his one good eye which was frightening enough to scare a grown man but Natasha didn't even flinch. 

"I don't know about you, sir, but if I were them I'd be pretty pissed." Coulson said unhelpfully, and so fury glared at him before falling into his seat at the debriefing table where the avengers, sans Steve, Tony and Bucky, were gathered.

"I am getting to damn old for this shit." Fury sighed. Then after a while of silence. "Where the fuck are the other three? I swear, Stark is a bad influence on Rogers."

Just then a loud bang followed by shouting interrupted proceedings as Tony, Steve, Bucky and Ruth burst into the room. 

"You better start explaining Nicolas, because you told me Ruth was dead." Steve ordered, a positively murderous look in his eyes as he slammed his hands onto the table which subsequently shattered. Fury looked up at the four of them with what appeared to be a flicker of honest-to-God fear in his eye.

"Look Steve, I was told it was for the best." Fury hastily said. "I was told by my superiors, you know damn well HYDRA was behind it all." the director attempted to reason.

"What the fuck?!" Ruth shouted. "Was SHIELD infiltrated by HYDRA? Fuck me, You have got to be kidding." She was in near hysterics. "When was this? When they told me they couldn't help Bucky?"

"What the hell are you on about woman?" Fury stood, exasperated and confused. His confusion increased when he felt himself being lifted up by the woman and shaken.

"What am I on about? The fact that after less than a lifetime the organisation I helped create was crawling with the very enemy we fought to destroy." Ruth spat before releasing him, causing him to fall ungracefully onto his arse.

"I want you and your damn agents out of my tower NOW, Fury, or so help me!" Tony started.

"Okay!" Natasha stood up, putting a halt to Tony's rant. "I think everybody needs to calm down!" she said slowly looking around the room.

"I think someone needs to apologies to three furious super soldiers who are pretty much ready to murder someone." Bucky retorted with a pointed look at Director Fury.

"Oh fuck me! Alright, alright, I fucked up, okay? I'm sorry for not telling you Ruth was alive but, damn, I can't change that."

"No Fury, you told me she was dead! The only thing I thought was still around from the 1940's. Do you have any idea how angry that makes me?" As Steve spoke he blinked back tears. Tony's face instantly switched from seething to concerned as his gaze fell on Steve and he swiftly turned away from Fury to hug his boyfriend, quietly soothing him by murmuring into his ear and rubbing his back.

Seeing Steve so upset made all those in the room see how betrayed Steve felt and many of them felt a twist of guilt coil in them. Casting one last glare at Fury, Bucky and Ruth made their way to Steve and hugged him, along with Tony.

"Perhaps we should all talk about this later. Those three have a lot of catching up to do." Clint said as he pointed at the super soldiers.

"Aye. They need to be reacquainted with one another. I suggest we celebrate this most fortuitous occasion with a feast." Thor suggested, grinning from ear to ear, and joining the hug. "Friend Steve, please do not be upset, your beautiful warrior maiden has returned." he tried to soothe.

"Everybody get out, you are relieved until further notice." Fury announced with finality before leaving, muttering angrily to himself about 'stupid ass Avengers gonna be the death of me'. 

"We'll see you upstairs." Natasha told the still Hugging group, putting her hand on Steve's arm. The room then cleared out, Natasha coaxing Thor to join her, Clint and Bruce upstairs, leaving the three super soldiers and Tony who released eachother after a while.

"You helped create SHIELD?" Tony asked in awe to Ruth.

"I had alot of free time after the war. And when they told me B... I wanted to help the greater good, so a few of us, including your parents and our friend Peggy created an organisation to protect and serve. Our legacy has failed, it did back then too." Ruth addressed Tony, avoiding eye contact with Steve and Bucky near the end before her resolve crumbled in the silence that followed her answer that hung heavy in the air, and Bucky engulfed her in his arms.

"What happened?" Bucky asked hastily at the same time Steve said: "What were you going to say before that?"

Ruth blinked back tears and buried her face into Bucky's neck. 

"I can't, James, you... I forgave you a long time ago." Ruth sobbed, her words muffled by her position.

Steve and Tony looked at eachother with disbelief, Steve hadn't seen Ruth like this since Bucky was lost back in the war and Tony was taken aback by the Brits switch in mood so suddenly. Both were stunned into silence.

"Ruth" Bucky's voice sounded strained and he kissed the top of Ruth's head. "Sweet heart, you're scaring me. What did I do? I'm sorry I fell, I'm sorry I left you, for everything, please, please don't cry." Bucky practically begged.

"No, James, not that. I'd never blame you for that." Ruth shook her head, then lifted it from Bucky's neck, looking him in the eyes. Bucky looked concerned and Ruth tried to give him a reassuring smile before kissing him and hugging him tightly back. The kiss was sloppy and uncoordinated, salty from Ruth's tears but it was perfect, because they were both alive. When they broke the kiss they smiled at eachother and Ruth took a deep breath.

"James, there's something I have to tell you and it is not going to be easy."Ruth confessed, trying to even out her breathing. Her eyes were red and puffy with dark smudges around them which were mirrored on Bucky's neck. Bucky reached up, to wipe away the tears on her cheeks, and pulled back when Ruth flinched as his metal hand made contact. 

"Sorry" Ruth tried weakly, a single tears escaping, as she looked into Bucky's heartbroken eyes. 

"Do you two want us to go?" Tony said, already ushering Steve from the room. As soon as the two had left Bucky lost it, finally showing tears, he fell to his knees and openly sobbed into Ruth's stomach.

"Please, Ruth, I... Don't leave me. I only just got you back!" The former assassin pleaded between heart wretched sobs.

"Buck, no! You're stuck with me forever, remember?" Ruth ran her hands through Bucky's hair trying to comfort him. "The thing is... I knew you were alive, James, and I'm so, so unbelievably sorry! They told me they couldn't reverse the process."

"You knew?"

"Yes, darling, I knew you were the winter soldier."

Bucky looked up at her as she crouched down. "How?" He asked, still confused.

"Well, HYDRA programmed you to... You were meant to... Bucky, I can't." Ruth's eyes flooded with renewed tears as Bucky realised what happened.

"You were my mission." Bucky finished for her, he suddenly felt numb.

"No, I was the Winter soldier's mission. You, Bucky, you saved my life." Ruth implored, taking Bucky's human hand in both of hers. "Every night, when I woke up and you were there above me, knife to my throat..." Ruth swallowed and Bucky flinched, so Ruth squeezed his hand harder. "You would remember, sweetheart, I would see that flicker of James Buchanan Barnes, the love of my life, and the Winter Soldier wasn't in control. I would have you back, just for a second and that was enough for me to overpower the Winter Soldier."

"I can't believe I almost killed you! How many times?"

"Thousands, I lost count, but one time - one glorious night, my gods, I remember it like the back of my hand- You remembered completely, I honestly thought the Winter Soldier was gone for good."


	3. Flashbacks and forgotten encounters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruth explains to Bucky what happened in 1960. Will Bucky be able to forgive himself? Even when Ruth forgave him a long time ago?  
> Features reunion sex, sort of drug abuse and lots of feels. Feedback and kudos is always appreciated and if you want to see anything just ask, I read all comments and try to reply.

Monday 27th April 1960.

 

Ruth's eyes fluttered open to the sound of glass smashing in the corner of the room. She rolled over carefully, her old bed springs creaking in protest of the movement, to see the Winter Soldier at her window.

At the noise his head turned to look straight at Ruth. Watery blue eyes to sleep blurred green. 

"Ruth?" The man spoke, his voice raw with tears. She immediately sat up and made her way over to see that the soldier - No, Bucky, this was Bucky - was crying; a broken picture frame in the clutches of his metal hand.

"James?" Ruth inquired, elation in her voice,he remembered, he was back. "Darling, why are you crying?"

"I haven't been James, or Bucky, in a long time... I'm sorry." James said, confusion written all over his face. 

Silence hung heavy in the air as they looked at eachother, really looked, for the first time in years.

"Who am I?" James asked his anguish and pain marred his once beautiful features; His still beautiful features, Ruth reminded herself, as she looked over his face, which wasn't covered like it usually was when the Winter Soldier came to her

 

"James Buchanan Barnes." Ruth stated with finality. "And you always will be."

 

"No" He shook his head violently, Tear tracks running down his face . "I'm not the same Bucky and you fucking know it! Don't lie to me, Ruth, you promised you never would." he looked earnestly into her eyes, as if searching for the truth.

After a few minutes of silent starring Bucky tried again. "What did HYDRA do to me?"

"They took you. Experimented on you. Brain washed you. All these terrible things, Buck, but I can't hate them." Ruth said, her speech fragmented.

"Why can't you?"

"Because you're alive. They must have given you a form of super soldier serum because you look the same too, and you have super strength. They saved your life. Succeeded where I failed. And now, I've lost you forever" She lifted his head with a hand on his cheek as tear spilt over in both their cheeks.

"No, I won't let that happen!" Buck dictated adamantly. "You're stuck with me forever, that's what you said. I won't let them take me again, Ruth, I belong with you."

"Oh Buck, I wish we could just stay here together. But you'll soon forget again and your only memories of me will be flashes in dreams, the only knowledge left will be your mission intel." Ruth said sadly.

"Then we'll have this, tonight, until I forget. Please." he pleaded, before pulling her lips to his with his human hand under her chin. They both melted into the kiss, passion and love moulding into a molten ball of pleasure as they lost themselves in the softness of eachother lips, the press of noses into cheeks and the soft moans they tore from one another as their lips parted and their tongues coiled around themselves, reconquering the territory of the others mouths as they had done so many years ago. 

Gasping and panting into their lovers mouth they desperately held onto one another as they staggered onto the bed. Falling gracelessly onto the unforgiving springs and rutting like animals in heat in their desperation to share their love for one another.

Bucky, on top of Ruth, kissed her slowly, savouring the feeling of her lips as they slid over his. He slowly dragged his hands up her sides, enjoying the shiver it sent through her, and buried his flesh hand in her thick silky hair while the other curled possessively around the back of her neck. "I love you" he whispered reverently as he did this and Ruth echoed the statement before freezing, petrified, when the cool metal wrapped around the base of her skull.

Bucky tore himself from her, as if burned, as the fear, so plainly visible in Ruth's face, turned to horror and guilt. Bucky fell to the floor, ripping off his shirt clawing at his shoulder, where skin met metal. He made a sound of desperation, a distressed sob as if realising the monster he has become. His breathing was heavy as he reached for his thigh, unsheathing a dagger.

With a pained whine he dug the dagger into his shoulder, gritting his teeth. 

"Bucky no." Ruth reached out to take the dagger. Bucky looked up suddenly, a thin sheen of sweat mingling with the tears on his face.

"I... I can be your Bucky again. Please, Ruth, please. I can undo what they've done!" Bucky ranted as he jerked the dagger, trying to cut through the flesh and metal.

"Stop, please, you can't!" Ruth pleaded, placing a hand on the dagger. "You'll only make it worse. This is you, James."

"You have to help me! I have to do this, I need to be with you." Bucky's voice broke as he spoke, blood covering his chest and arm.

"You can! I promise, but don't do this!" Ruth rested their foreheads together and closed her eyes, taking Bucky's real hand in one of hers and bringing them to rest on her heart before she tugged the dagger from him. 

He grunted in pain and crushed Ruth's fingers in his grip, causing her to grimace and drop the dagger from her other hand as the sickening sound of crushing bones resonated through the room.

"Sorry." they spoke in tandem. Ruth shook her head.

"Get on the bed." She murmured before standing up and walking to the bathroom.

Still in shock Bucky wordless moved to the bed, sitting down on the edge, resting his head on his arm, rested upon his knee as the metal arm hung heavily at his side. He heard the water running and cupboards being opened and closed before Ruth returned, her hand bandaged, carrying a bowl filled with gauze, disinfectant, needle, thread and bandages. 

She bent down and inspected his shoulder with out looking at him she started to clean the area tentatively, as if trying not to hurt him. 

After the area was cleaned and disinfected she took a zippo lighter from her bedside drawer, the one he had given her in the war, and heated the needle which already had a thread in it.

"This is going to hurt a little." She said in a clinical tone, still not looking at him.

"Please look at me." he asked, in a small voice, as she began to sew up the deep cut in his shoulder. If she heard, she ignored him and Bucky closed his eyes to try and stop the tears that threatened to spill again.

After an uncomfortable silence, where Ruth stitched and bandaged his wound with expert precision, Ruth announced she was finished. Bucky thanked her as she went to put everything back in the bathroom. 

Bucky sat diligently waiting for Ruth to return, starting to worry when quarter of an hour had gone by and she still hadn't returned.

He stood and slowly made his way to the bathroom, the door was open and he walked in to see her leaning on the bath with her arms wrapped round her legs, pulled up to her chest. He knelt down and stroked her hair, silently begging any deity listening to help him. 

"I love you." Ruth said, her head between her knees. 

"I love you too. I'm sorry, I... How can I make this up to you?" He asked, leaning forward and hugging her.

"Stay here tonight? Tomorrow, I'll reprogram you and send you back to HYDRA." Ruth looks up, smiling sadly.

"Ruth, I...I promise I'll be back for you, I'll go back and kill every. Single. Fucking. Agent. That did this to me and I'll be back." Bucky declared. "But tonight, I'll stay, and we can fuck, and it'll be so good, I'll can never forget you."

"You were always so eloquent." she smirked before kissing him. He returned the kiss enthusiastically before lifting her up, being mindful of his shoulder and her hand. She quickly kicked off her pyjama shorts and wrapped her legs around his waist while tangling her good hand in his hair.

"God, I've missed you!" Bucky pants into her neck as he sucks and bites the sensitive skin there.

"I've missed you too, darling!" Ruth moaned as Bucky unzipped his trousers and slid into Ruth, whose back was pressed against the bathroom wall. They both groaned in unison at the feel of finally being together again.

They both stayed still, savouring the moment, their foreheads resting together and eyes shut in reverence as their heavy breathing cut through the silence.

"For Gods sake, move! Please!" Ruth gasped, trying to move even though she was trapped between the wall and Bucky's solid chest.

"Yes ma'am!" Bucky replied cockily, smirking at her before lifting her up and slowly sinking her back down on his length teasingly. When Ruth let out an exasperated and desperate whine he began to thrust into her with earnest.

Before long the bathroom was full of panting, groaning and the sound of sweat slicked skin slapping together. Before long the sweet friction between them became too much and they both came, enraptured in eachother as the shivered and moaned their release.

"Fuuuuuuuu... Bucky! I love you!" Ruth panted, a sad smile on her exhausted features.

"I love you too. I love you so much. I love you. I miss you. I'm sorry. Never leaving again. Can't live with out you." Bucky rambled in between kisses, holding Ruth tightly as he carried them to the bed. 

He carefully placed Ruth down on the mattress and slowly removed her remaining clothing, kissing her smooth skin chastely as it was revealed. He then removed his armor and laid down next to her, Ruth's head nuzzling his neck and her arm and leg thrown over his body, holding him close.

They both feel asleep quickly, their limbs tangled together in the moonlit room. Too soon dawns light filtered through the window and Ruth's eyes flickered open to the sight of Bucks stubbled jaw, she smiled to her self before registering the cool metal arm curled around her back.

Her smile dropped from her face and she slowly extracted herself to go to the phone in her kitchen. Almost on auto pilot she dialed the phone and placed the head set to her ear. It rung a few times and Ruth glanced at the clock -which read 6.07 in the morning- before closing her eyes and waiting for someone to answer.

"Good morning, Muir Island facility, how may I help you?" came a cheery British accent.

"Good morning, this is Ruth Turner, is Dr MacTaggert there?" Ruth inquired.

"Ruth? Hello, my friend, it's Charles! Miora's undergraduate from Oxford?"

"Of course, how could I forget?"

"Ruth, is everything okay?" Xavier asked, concerned.

"Bucky came back" Ruth whispered, as if talking louder would shatter her fragile mind. "Not the winter soldier... Bucky. He remembered."

"Ruth. Is he still there?" he asked quietly, continuing when Ruth told him he was asleep, "You need to give him the serum, it's better to make him forget now! We haven't obtained enough data to know if Lieutenant Barnes will be safe... I know it's hard, Ruth." Charles sighed.

"I know, I know" Ruth choked out. "How much should I give him?"

"Well, 400ml should be plenty. Any less than 50ml and he'll start to remember in a day or so." Charles supplied. After a few minutes of silence Charles nervously continued. "I can get Moira to call you back if you want. She may even be able to come visit-"

"No, no, I'll be fine Charles. I'm due for tests in a fortnight anyway, will you still be at the facility?" Ruth asks amicably.

"I may be, it depends on whether my research is finished. Hopefully I'll see you soon, Ruth. Good bye, my friend" Charles said sadly.

"Good bye Charles, Thank you" Ruth spoke before hanging up, leaning her head back against the wall, her eyes closed against her tears. 

"It's time isn't it..." Bucky's voice carried from the bedroom. "Time to go." his voice sounded strained, but not from sleep. 

"I don't want to do this." Ruth answered, rounding the corner to the bedroom and gazing down at Bucky's naked form, her bed sheets pooled around his thighs; one hand resting on his abdomen, fingertips nestled in the hair at his crotch and his metal arm over his head framing his sleep messed hair. The light filtered over him in lines, highlighting his shiny arm, beautiful face, smirking cheekily at her even though his eyes we filled with sorrow and fear, and toned chest- marred by the bandage which covered the scarred joining of metal and flesh.

"I'm sorry." Bucky's face fell as he said it. "I swear I'll be back!" He implored.

"I know. Someday we'll be together, but until then," she sighed. "Give me your arm." he did so while she opened her bedside cabinet and took out a box. Opening it, she took out a syringe, filled with pale orange liquid, at disinfected the inside of Bucky's arm and finding his vein. 

She looked up at him, the needle resting on his skin.

"I love you" they said at the same time, both breathing out a huff of laughter at their synchronisation. They both leaned forward in a kiss as Ruth injected the needle and pushed down the plunger.

When they broke Bucky looked drowsy and his eyes had glazed over.

"Get dressed, it'll kick in soon." Ruth informed him, passing him his clothes before getting dressed her self - the syringe forgotten on the bed side cabinet.

By the time Ruth had finished getting ready Bucky had fallen into unconsciousness as the serum took affect. 

She glanced down at the syringes of serum... 'Any less than 50ml and he'll start to remember in a day or so.' Charles words echoed around her head. Looking down at Bucky again, she sighed, kissed him on the forehead then went to leave- grabbing a syringe on the way.

"Good bye, Bucky."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With no where else to go Ruth hails a cab to SHIELD headquarters. As she neared the building she measured 30ml of the serum and injected it into her blood stream. The cab came to a halt and Ruth stumbled across the street to the front doors. She blinked hazily as her vision began to blur and she felt light headed, although her limbs and eyelids felt like lead. She moved groggily through the lobby before making her way to Howard's office in the lift.

When Howard opened the door she smiled goofily at him. He frowned in concern at her state and helped her over to a chair.

"What happened?" he demanded, checking her over.

"Howard... Bucky came back" As she spoke her mood went from euphoric to devastated and she let out heart wrenching sobs. "I had to make him forget..." she shook her head, crying helplessly. "I needed to forget too." she reached into her coat and showed him the syringe before passing out.

Howard quickly rushed to his desk and called Peggy, he moved to lie Ruth down - checking her airways and pulse - before attempting to wake Ruth.

"Come on Ruth, don't do this, I've lost enough!" Howard near pleaded. After half an hour of trying Ruth awoke, disorientated.

"Hey! You're Howard Stark! I'm a big fan, Mister Stark" Ruth enthused when she sat up on the sofa, spotting Howard behind his desk, scotch in hand, talking to Peggy.

"Ruth, you're awake!" Peggy smiled. "Can you tell us what this is?" She asked, holding the syringe.

"No... I have no idea." Ruth replied, confused. "I'm sleepy." she complained before lying back down.


End file.
